At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My life is pants optional.
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