I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
