She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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