Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
