Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
