My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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