Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
