Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
