They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
