Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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