I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize