So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
