U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize