I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
