Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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