Too much gin, very little bucket
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
