I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
