We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize