No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
