What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
