i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got inside last night via doggy door
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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