He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
