i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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