He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
