Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
