Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
