she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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