She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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