I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
