My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
sex in a hospital.. check
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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