Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
