he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize