go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize