She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Still dying that you shit outside
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
