worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
