period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
