yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
