okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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