Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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