He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
