I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
