I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have aggressive nipples.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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