who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize