Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
