Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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