i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
