Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
