He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
