The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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