They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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