and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
