they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
