That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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