The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i was born a porn star she said
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
