I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
