then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
