Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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