He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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