Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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