margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i think i just lost a toe
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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