So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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